Misappropriated
by Kittenshift17
Summary: As he poured himself another, Remus found himself wishing things had been different and wondering again how it had all come to this. How could it be that James and Lily Potter were murdered? How could it be that Peter Pettigrew too had been blasted out of existence? How could Sirius Black the best friend of all three of the deceased, and of Remus himself betray them all?


**Misappropriated**

* * *

><p>Remus Lupin found himself in his cups again.<p>

He was wracked with a constant sense of guilt. Black had gotten into the castle again tonight. Remus told himself he was doing so via dark means, evil tricks he'd learned from Lord Voldemort. He told himself that Sirius Black wasn't taking his Animagus form to slip into the castle and put Harry Potter and the rest of the students and staff at risk.

Those were the reasons he gave himself for his cowardly actions. For his secrecy in not admitting that whilst they'd all been at Hogwarts together, Remus himself had led his three best friends astray. Such were the lies he told himself to refrain from mentioning to Professor Dumbledore that Sirius might be using Animagi to slip into the castle.

He was a coward and a fool.

In his heart he suspected such was exactly the reason Black was getting in. Of course it was. That and the fact that along with Remus himself, Sirius knew the castle better than anyone. He could've been using any number of secret passageways to creep in. Hells, he could even be hiding in one of them, living off whatever scraps he could steal from the Great Hall or from Honeydukes.

He really ought to tell Dumbledore the truth. Remus just didn't want to see the gleam of disappointment in the eyes of the man he owed so much. If not for Albus Dumbledore, Remus would've remained the lonely, friendless little boy who was locked in the basement cellar far below the back shed in his parent's garden every full moon, home-schooled where his affliction would go unnoticed.

How could he admit to the man who had afforded him the capability of attending Hogwarts as a lad; who had provided him the chance to make such dear friends and live a lifetime and more in their company whilst housed inside these very walls; that he'd betrayed Dumbledore's trust, putting the safety of many innocent people at risk? How could he look the man who had afforded him a chance at happiness in the eye and tell him that all the risks Dumbledore had taken, all the effort and faith and trust Dumbledore had put in him had been thrown away every month as he led his friends to slip free of the castle and relieve him of his loneliness within the Shrieking Shack, running the grounds of Hogwarts and Hogsmede with no regard for the damage he could have done if he'd slipped free of the company of James Potter and Sirius Black?

How could he admit that it might very well be that thanks to him, Sirius was able to sneak repeatedly into the castle, meaning to end the life of his deceased best friend's only son in some misguided revenge for as vile and evil a being as Lord Voldemort?

Remus took a long draught from his goblet of fire-whiskey, relishing the burn on his tongue, down his throat and into his stomach, feeling the alcohol heating his blood. He sat in the dark, perched on the edge of the bed in his office. This was the first stable job he'd held for more than a month or two that held any kind of interest to him, and he only held it because of Albus Dumbledore. He simply couldn't jeopardise the first stability he'd experienced since his days within this very castle as a student.

Even if it did mean he was hindering the search for Sirius.

As he poured himself another, Remus found himself wishing things had been different and wondering for the billionth time how it had all come to this. How could it be that James and Lily Potter were murdered? How could it be that Peter Pettigrew too had been blasted out of existence? How could Sirius Black – the former best friend of all three of the deceased, and of Remus himself – have betrayed them so completely?

Sirius – who had been as close to himself and James as if they'd been born brothers. Sirius - who had so abhorred the dark arts and those who associated with them. Sirius – who was Godfather to Harry thanks to his lifelong friendship with James Potter.

For the trillionth time, Remus shook his head, thinking that it simply couldn't be right. Sirius had always been the most loyal of friends. He and James had been thick as thieves. Closer than brothers. He would never have sold his best friend to Voldemort. Would never have been the spy. He would've died before betraying his best friends.

Glaring into his cup even as he gulped down another goblet-full of the fiery whiskey, Remus felt his familiar anger washing over him.

In his heart he truly believed that Sirius could never have done such things. But if that were so, how did Voldemort find James and Lily? If it was so, why did they only find Peter's finger? Why had they found Sirius on the exploded and destroyed street surrounds by twenty dead muggles and a crater the size of a large house with nothing left of Peter but his index finger?

The familiar doubts lingered in his mind. Sirius had been Secret Keeper for James and Lily. He'd have told him if they'd chosen someone else to do so.

Wouldn't he?

Doubt gnawed at his insides like the rabid wolf he became every full moon.

He thought again about the fear and the worry of those dark days, not having seen James and Lily in months, doubt and fear driving even the closest family and friend groups to distrust one another.

What if they'd chosen someone else to be secret keeper and not told him, believing that he could've been the spy? It made a sort of sense - though the betrayal of the idea stung – that they would distrust him. He was a werewolf. His curse afforded him no capability to hold a real job for more than two or three months at a time. Voldemort had many werewolves among his ranks and Remus himself had spent many a night spying for the Order in the hovels and holes where other bitter werewolves holed up choosing sides.

What if James and Lily and Sirius had distrusted him with the knowledge that they had switched their chosen secret keeper to one no one would suspect? It felt like an insult to Peter's memory to even consider the possibility that they'd asked poor, pathetic, scared little Peter to be their Secret Keeper. It was the last thing anyone would expect, and if he knew James, Remus could imagine James taking issue with asking Sirius to put himself in the sort of danger he'd have been in as secret keeper.

He shook his head again, reminding himself that Peter was dead. That Sirius had been captured at the scene roaring with maniacal laughter. He took another drink, trying to drown out the doubts that still nagged at him all these years later.

It didn't help. His cups always brought back the memories of how close they'd been. Of how Remus had believed James and Sirius and Peter to be his brothers.

"How could you do it?" he muttered to no one in the darkness. "To James? He was like your brother. To Peter? Even though he always kind of irritated you because he wasn't as clever as us. How could you do it to me? How could you tear all three of you away from me? How could you let me be alone this way?"

Like always, there was no response to be found in the lonely darkness.

There was only that nagging little voice of his conscience that suggested that Sirius Black simply couldn't do such things.

Losing patience with himself, his doubts, and that irritating little voice inside his head, Remus slammed the bottle of whiskey and his cup down on his bedside table and got unsteadily to his feet. He stomped for the door, dragging it open and wincing at the loud squeal the door hinges gave in the cold evening air. He didn't bother to light his wand as he prowled the corridors once more, headed for Dumbledore's office. It was well into the early hours of the morning. The search for Black going cold when they'd lost his trail at the edge of the Forbidden Forest.

Remus had been reluctant to mention when Professor McGonagall had asked what he could possibly be doing in the depths of Forest, that Sirius was probably holed up in there somewhere. If there was anyone who ever knew the darkest depths of the forest besides Hagrid, it was the four Marauders.

How many nights had they spent losing themselves in the dark and the gloom, amid the closely packed trees and the creatures of the Forest that scared the pants off some of their classmates? How many paths had they run in the glow of the moonlight, exploring the forest and the grounds like no other students before or since?

When he reached Albus Dumbledore's chambers, Remus was unsurprised to see light glowing from beneath the door. He knocked sharply three times, rapping his knuckles against the wood and listening to the almost deafening sound they made in the otherwise silent castle.

"Enter" Albus called and Remus did so without delay or a care that he was stumbling slightly thanks to the almost-full bottle of whiskey he'd consumed.

"Remus?" Dumbledore asked, seeming surprised to see him dropping into the seat across the desk from the Headmaster. "You're up late, my friend."

"What if it wasn't him?" Remus asked without preamble.

"You think someone else capable of breaking into the castle this evening?" Albus asked, looking intrigued "That young Mr Weasley was mistaken perhaps?"

"What if Sirius didn't sell James and Lily out? What if he didn't kill Peter?" Remus clarified.

"Why would you ask such a question?" Dumbledore asked and Remus wanted to curse at the man's habit of answering questions with more questions.

"Because it's been bugging me for all these years. James and Sirius were like brothers. I just don't see Sirius ever doing this."

"He was their Secret Keeper, Remus. No one else knew their location."

"But what if he wasn't?" Remus persisted "You know James would've taken issue with the idea of putting Sirius in danger like that. And you know the first person who would've been hunted down in search of them would have been Sirius when James and Lily went into hiding…. What if they lied to us? What if at the last second they asked someone else, say Peter, to be Secret Keeper, believing he would be the last person anyone would put any kind of faith in?"

"You've been drinking again, haven't you Remus?" Albus asked him gently and Remus wanted to snarl.

"That's not the point."

"If such a thing were true, why then is Peter dead? Why is Sirius here, trying to break into the castle, breaking into the very dormitory where Harry sleeps?"

"Why would he go to the wrong bed?" Remus countered "Sirius was no fool, Dumbledore. If he'd broken in here with the intention of murdering Harry, he wouldn't just accidentally go to the wrong bed, and if by some chance he did, he would realise straight away, silence Ron and proceed to murder Harry in his bed rather than allowing himself to be seen and for Ron to call out for help. If he truly broke in only to murder Harry, Sirius would not simply turn and flee at the first failed attempt."

"What else would he be doing breaking into Harry dormitory?" Dumbledore asked him.

"Hunting for Peter" Remus answered, aware of how crazy he sounded, but not caring right in that moment.

"Peter Pettigrew? The man Sirius Black murdered along with many muggles twelve years ago?"

"They only found Peter's finger" Remus mused "What if he cut if off and faked his own death? What if Peter was secret keeper, betrayed James and Lily to Voldemort, and Sirius knew? What if Sirius hunted him down for what he'd done?"

"Where is this coming from Remus?" Dumbledore asked and Remus could see the pity in his eyes. Could see that the man believed Remus's loneliness had finally gotten the best of him.

"They were like brothers, Dumbledore. Closer than blood. Sirius and James were always the most loyal of friends. I just can't see Sirius ever selling James out like that. He loathed the dark arts. He loathed the views Voldemort was pedalling. He'd have died before selling out the man who was closer to him than any brother could've been. He'd have hunted down any person who would betray James that way. You knew him Dumbledore. Not well, but you knew him when we were students. We certainly got in enough trouble that you knew us all personally. You knew him through the Order. Do you truly have not a single doubt that Sirius is guilty?"

Remus knew he sounded like a madmen. He spoke with an intensity that would have no doubt scared lesser men than Albus Dumbledore. His eyes were feverishly bright, his face alight with the doubts he'd harboured in his heart, leaning forward, speaking and gesturing in earnest.

"How would Peter have faked his death and escaped?" Dumbledore asked him seriously.

"He was an Animagus" Remus said, deciding that if Peter truly was dead, it could not hurt his memory to have Dumbledore know that truth.

"Oh?" Dumbledore raised an eyebrow, clearly waiting for more information.

"He could turn into a rat. What if he cut off his finger, caused the explosion that killed all those muggles and fled into the sewers, knowing Sirius was hunting him? Knowing Voldemort's loyal servants would be hunting him. If he was secret keeper and fed that information to Voldemort, then they would blame him for Voldemort's death."

"You believe he was an unregistered animagus?" Dumbledore asked.

Remus sighed heavily, choosing to find his courage, even if it meant disappointing this man he owed so much too.

"They all were" he told him "James, Sirius and Peter. For me. They used to sneak out every full moon, transform and spend the evening with me while I was under the influence of my curse."

Dumbledore stared at him with that unfathomable expression he so often wore. The one that betrayed none of his thoughts or emotions. Remus glanced around the office guiltily.

"And what form do you believe they took?" he asked finally.

"James was a stag. Sirius can become a huge black dog. Peter was a rat. They learned in second year that I was a werewolf, and for the next three years they devoted every spare moment to learning Animagi. In our fifth year they finally managed it. They're unregistered, obviously. They would slip out of the castle and spirit me away from the Shrieking Shack, James and Sirius big enough animals to keep me under control, Peter small enough to get them into the tunnel to the Shack."

"You didn't think this information prudent enough to share while we've been hunting for Sirius all this time?" Dumbledore asked sternly.

Remus hung his head.

"I was too ashamed to tell you. You trusted me and gave me a life and friends and I betrayed that trust every time I left the safety of the shack to roam the grounds and the forest and the village with them by my side. Not just wilfully disobeying you, but leading the others into disobedience alongside me," He admitted finally.

For a long time after that neither man spoke and Remus squirmed in his seat as though he were still a terrified first year being given his first detention.

"If all of this were true, what would Sirius be doing breaking into the castle and into Harry's dormitory? Why would he not protest his innocence?"

"He did protest his innocence. You yourself testified that he was James and Lily's Secret Keeper." Remus pointed out. "And if I'm not mistaken, I believe I've heard Harry mention a time or two some issues between Mr Weasley and Miss Granger over a cat and a pet rat."

"You believe the pet rat belonging to Mr Weasley is actually Peter Pettigrew in disguise?"

"It's possible. And more plausible to my mind than the idea of Sirius selling James out. Why else would he go to Ron's bed instead of Harry's? Why would he run rather than attacking, unless the rat he was hunting was no longer there? If Peter got wind of Sirius having escaped from Azkaban he might've fled, knowing Sirius was hunting him."

"I believe Hagrid mentioned Miss Granger crying to him about Ron and Harry being upset with her because her cat is suspected of eating this rat belonging to Mr Weasley" Dumbledore mused and Remus felt a surge of hope.

"Maybe Sirius didn't know that and so broke in, expecting to snatch Peter, only to find the rat gone, explaining why he would flee rather than attacking Harry."

Dumbledore was looking intrigued and mildly concerned now, his blue eyes twinkling behind his half-moon spectacles.

"It is late Remus" he said finally "We will investigate this idea further come the morning. For now I think it would be best for you to return to your office and rest. It's been a long and stressful night, and I would like some time to ponder your suggestion, as unexpected as it is. You have certainly been under extra pressure in regard to this matter, what with Severus's rather obnoxious attitude toward you and the personal betrayal and losses this whole matter triggers for you. Rest and we will discuss it in the morning."

Remus suspected that he wasn't simply being dismissed because Dumbledore just thought he was drunk and rambling. He knew the old man better than that and if there was ever a man to consider every possibility and explore it to its fullest extent, it was Albus Dumbledore. Remus knew they truly would discuss it in the morning and that he would spend many long hours considering Remus's suggestion and investigating its warrants and possibilities.

"Tomorrow then" Remus grunted, getting to his feet and making for the door.

"Remus" Dumbledore called to him "I hope that this theory of yours is the truth… but do not trust a hope. Do not allow yourself to buy into it only to feel the sting of betrayal all over again if it turns out to be false."

Remus nodded solemnly before exiting the office. He knew he ought to return to his own office and turn in for the night, but his doubt had given him energy; his confession to Dumbledore prodding him to want to prove his theory true. Rather than his office, Remus made his way through the castle; first to the dungeons and to the exit. They'd lost Sirius's trail at the edge of the Forbidden Forest, but Remus knew Sirius Black better than most, and possessed the heightened sense of smell that his curse afforded him. If there was anyone who might be able to track Sirius Black down in the depths of the forest it was Remus Lupin.

And for the sake of the friendship they'd once shared; for the hope in his heart that one of his last living friends wasn't a betraying bastard and a murderer, Remus had to search.

Sirius Black froze when he heard the scuffling sound of footsteps in the darkness of the forest. They didn't sound like the heavy plodding steps of Hagrid, nor the steps of any other creature he might encounter in the depths of the forest. They sounded human and he cursed silently, realising that they must still be searching for him up at the castle, somehow having followed his trail to the forest.

He'd made sure to leave as few tracks as possible on the way back to the cave he'd been hiding out in. It was nestled deep in the heart of the forest, just big enough that four teenage boys had been able to fit inside comfortably, once upon a time. It wasn't far from the edges of the Black Lake, and he'd grown used to the sound of the water lapping at the edges in all the time he's spent hiding out here most of the year.

The footsteps were coming closer.

He could pick up the shadowy silhouette of a human figure, black against the inky black gloom of the forest. He lived almost permanently as a dog these days, finding his hunger was easier to deal with; the rodents and other things he was forced to eat in order to survive, easier to stomach when he was a dog. This meant that his eyesight was better by far than that of a human, and yet in the smothering dark of the forest, he still couldn't make out the owner of that silhouette.

He could guess though.

Besides himself there were only two other men alive who knew about this cave and might suspect this was where he was hiding, and only one of them would dare to come searching for him there in the middle of the night. It had to be Remus coming towards him and Sirius cursed, knowing his old friend was probably using his heightened werewolf senses in order to see in the dark and to track him so deep into the forest. Meaning that those sharp werewolf eyes could probably already pick out the glow of his own eyes.

"Get out here, Sirius" Remus growled without preamble and Sirius flinched within the dark overhang of the cave to be addressed by his first name after so long. "Transform and get out here. You and I need to talk."

"How long have you known I was here?" Sirius croaked back to his friend, transforming as requested and wondering what it was that Remus wanted.

Sirius, James and Peter had foolishly mistrusted him twelve years ago, and so it was that Remus had let him rot in Azkaban for twelve years, believing him not only capable but guilty of murdering two of his best friends.

"I've suspected you must be hiding somewhere on the grounds all year. And I knew you were here when I checked all the secret passageways and found them empty. Get out here."

"You going to kill me Remus?" Sirius asked him, even as he walked out of the cave and peered through the inky darkness at his oldest living friend.

"Incarcerous" Remus said the minute Sirius was out of the cave and Sirius felt his lips pull back from his own teeth at the betrayal. Binds shot out the end of Remus's wand and wrapped themselves around him, constricting like a cobra and squeezing him just tight enough to smart. He cursed some more for the fact that his wand had been confiscated and snapped when he'd been thrown in Azkaban.

He couldn't move and Sirius found himself flinching slightly as Remus stepped closer until he was close enough that should he choose to spit, he'd be able to land the spit-ball right between his best friend's eyes. It unnerved him somewhat, having spent more than twelve years with no human contact whatsoever.

"Going to hand me back to the Dementors then?" Sirius sneered at his friend, cranky now.

"You're going to drink this" Remus told him, stalking closer and seizing hold of his jaw, prying his teeth apart and pouring a sour-tasting liquid into his mouth that made Sirius splutter and cough in outrage "And we're going to stand here and wait for it to take effect. Then you're going to answer my questions."

"When did you get so pushy?" Sirius complained as though they were both still teenage best friends rather than the pair of gits who'd mistrusted each other and not spoken in twelve years.

"When all of my friends were suddenly gone and I believed it was all your fault." Remus snapped at him, making Sirius cringe.

"You know I didn't do it" Sirius told him seriously, squinting through the dark and trying to see his old friend's face.

"I don't _know_ that Sirius. Were you James and Lily's secret Keeper?" he began the interrogation and Sirius could feel the effects of what he suspected must be Veritaserum compelling him to answer truthfully.

"No."

"If you weren't their Secret Keeper, then who was?"

"Peter Pettigrew" Sirius replied truthfully.

"Why didn't anyone tell me you'd switched it to Wormtail?"

"We thought you were the spy" Sirius admitted.

Remus gave no indication that any of his answers were affecting him. Sirius wondered if maybe his old friend had been drinking. He thought he could detect a hint of whiskey on Remus's breath, and he wondered at the way Rems seemed to be able to so calmly interrogate him about this. He knew that had their roles been reversed and it had been Remus suspected of these horrible things, Sirius would not have been able to speak about it so calmly. Of course, had their roles been reversed, Sirius wouldn't have waited twelve years to demand answers.

"Did you kill Peter and all those muggles?" Remus demanded.

"No."

"Did you sell James and Lily to Voldemort."

"No." Sirius replied, again feeling the ache in his chest at the mention of their lost friends.

"Why are you at Hogwarts?"

"To commit the murder I was convicted of. Peter's here. He's been living in Harry's dorm for three years. As a rat. He's pretending to be the Weasley kid's pet rat."

"You're not here to murder Harry?"

"No. He's my Godson for Christ sake." Sirius snapped, offended by the very idea of so many people believing he would actually murder his godson. That he would actually murder James's son.

"How can you be sure that Ron's rat is Peter?" Remus asked him.

"Have you seen him? The years we spent with Wormtail…. I could pick him out a thousand common garden rats! He's also missing a toe where he cut off his own finger to flee me when I tried to murder him."

"How do you know? How did you even find out he was here?"

"My pocket" Sirius croaked, struggling a little against his bindings "There's a newspaper article in my pocket."

Sirius blinked against the flare of light when Remus lit his wand, his eyes stinging at the intrusion after such prolonged time spent adjusting to the darkness. He squirmed at the feel of Remus's hand delving through the bindings and into the pocket of his robes.

Even as he did, Sirius found himself staring at the face of his old friend critically. He had no idea what he looked like himself, but as he stared at Remus's face, Sirius felt a twinge of empathy for his old friend. He'd never seen Remus look so…. Defeated. They were both older now, and he'd seen him from a distance a few times, but there was something about seeing him suddenly so close that really drove home the twelve years they'd spent apart.

His condition aged him prematurely, but Sirius could see that life had been unkind to Remus Lupin. He had new scars on his face and neck that hadn't been there twelve years ago, his hair was already turning grey, and he had deep wrinkles etched in his once handsome face. As Remus withdrew the newspaper article about the Weasley family in Egypt and studied it intently, his eyes riveted on the image of Peter perched there on Ron Weasley's shoulder, Sirius studied his old friend, wondering just how unkind life had been to him while Sirius had been locked away in Azkaban.

"That bastard" Remus growled when he recognised the familiar appearance of Wormtail. He lifted his gaze to Sirius's and Sirius peered back at him.

"He's been hiding all this time, conveniently close to Harry, ready to strike should he ever hear more than whispers that Voldemort might return. Ready to kill James's son and so win his place back among the Death Eaters. They want him dead. The Death Eaters in Azkaban. They believe it's all Peter's fault that Voldemort met his doom that night in Godric's Hollow." Sirius told his friend. "He murdered them. He sold them out and then got me landed in Azkaban for twelve bloody years. I'm going to commit the murder I served my time for, Remus. Before he can get to Harry the way he got to James."

Sirius blinked in shock when the bindings holding him suddenly fell away to pool at his feet and before he could react or warn his friend about the stench of himself, Sirius felt Remus's hand tug the front of his robes and suddenly found himself being squeezed in a bone-crushing hug. Furtively, Sirius hugged him back, squeezing a little tighter when he realised that Remus had begun to sob silently.

"I'm so sorry" Remus breathed to him. "I'm sorry I doubted you."

"I'm sorry we didn't trust you with the truth. I doubted you too, old friend" Sirius replied croakily, his legs nearly giving out when Remus leaned against him heavily.

"I let you rot there…." Remus whispered brokenly "Even when I doubted that you could truly be guilty I let you rot there for twelve bloody years…."

Sirius hugged him in silence, doing his best not to think about the time he'd spent in Azkaban.

"How did you escape?" Remus murmured, still not letting him go, his wand tip having fizzled out, leaving them in the dark once more.

"I transformed and slipped out one day. I was obsessed after I read the article. I had to murder that bastard. I had to protect Harry." Sirius told him "I slipped past the Dementors. They're blind and as a dog they couldn't get a read on my emotions. Then I swam back to the mainland."

Remus squeezed him even tighter at that before slowly letting him go and stepping back.

"I brought you something" Remus murmured, and Sirius stared at him warily as Remus reached into his pocket for something. He nearly groaned when Remus pulled out a shrunken bag of what looked like mixed sandwiches.

"You brought me food?" Sirius asked, staring at the bag, his stomach growling hungrily. "You didn't even believe I was innocent and you brought me food."

"I hoped" Remus shrugged, "And if you'd been guilty… well, every man deserves a last meal before they die."

"You'd have killed me?" Sirius demanded.

"If you'd killed James and Lily and Peter and were here to murder Harry… yes." Remus replied seriously.

"That mean you'll help me kill that bastard?" Sirius asked, ravenously reaching for the bag Remus had just engorged back to its right size.

"I've got a better idea than that, Sirius" Remus told him, handing over the bag and eyeing him strangely. Sirius quirked an eyebrow questioningly since he currently had his gob filled with chicken and lettuce sandwich.

"Dumbledore knows about the Animagi…. I told him tonight after you broke in when I was trying to puzzle out why you'd go to the wrong bed and then flee if you were truly here to murder Harry." Remus told him and Sirius felt the pit of his stomach drop strangely to know that their secret was finally out. "I'm not sure he believed my idea about you being innocent, but if you speak to him and let him interrogate you with Veritaserum like I did, he'll help us. I say we catch Peter and hand him over to the Aurors and the Dementors. I say we clear your name and get you your freedom back."

"Won't be as satisfying as murdering that bastard" Sirius grunted.

"No, it won't" Remus agreed "But you'd be able to actually be Harry's godfather in practice when your name was cleared. He's so much like James…."

"Flies like him" Sirius agreed around his mouthful of food.

"You were at the matches?" Remus asked.

"Sat just inside the tree-line as a dog, but I could see him" Sirius grinned at his old friend by the glow of Remus's wand. Remus shook his head at such recklessness and Sirius felt a wash of happiness at the familiar sight.

"What do you say? Do you want to commit murder, or do you want your freedom? I know Harry would jump at the chance to get away from his Aunt and Uncle. He's treated very poorly by them, I think."

"Where've you been? Why haven't you been looking out for him?" Sirius demanded, frowning to hear that.

"I can't afford to feed myself, much less a teenager Sirius" Remus told him "I can't hold down a job more than a few months before people realise what I am, and I wasn't about to risk Harry's safety. It's not like I could give him a better life. He'd have been miserable with me even if I could afford it and was granted permission as his guardian. Which I haven't been."

"So you just let him suffer with Lily's idiot sister?" Sirius demanded "You know how that swot detested magic and resented Lily. They probably beat the poor kid."

"He slept in a cupboard under the stairs in their house until he came to Hogwarts" Remus admitted "And the only possessions he owned were a pair of broken spectacles, and hand-me-down clothes from his cousin – a boy about four times the size of Harry… I kept an eye on him when I could, but I never got too close. Didn't want to scare him."

"I was in Surrey the night he blew up his aunt" Sirius admitted with a nod "He got Lily's temper."

"You were there?"

"Sure. Scared the life out of Harry when he saw me in an alley too."

"You mean to tell me this whole time the entire wizarding world has been on high alert looking for you and trying to keep you from getting to Harry because they all think you want to murder him, and you've been sneaking around the muggle place he lives when he's not here and sneaking around the grounds and the castle."

"He's my godson" Sirius grunted "Not about to let the kid out of my sight when I can help it, not with Peter on the loose."

Remus stared at him with an unfathomable expression for a few minutes in silence after that, waving his wand and conjuring more sandwiches when Sirius had eaten almost all of them.

"Merlin, you look awful." He said finally and Sirius grunted in amusement.

"This from you" he nodded at his friend's appearance indicatively, earning himself a laugh.

"I'm not covered in layer of filth with all that matted hair. The flesh finally reflects the madness within" Remus told him, nodding indicatively to the matted black hair that hung to Sirius's elbows.

"You'd know all about the madness within, wouldn't you Remus" Sirius replied snidely.

Remus grinned at him, taking years off his appearance with the gesture.

"They snapped my wand, so there's not much I can do about it. I tried bathing in the lake, but the Dementors nearly saw me and it doesn't work the same if I swim as a dog." Sirius continued, grinning in return.

Sirius squirmed when Remus turned his wand on him, silently Scourigfying away most of the grime.

"Want me to fix your hair?"

"You think you can?" Sirius asked seriously.

"If you let me cut it" Remus nodded and Sirius glared at him when Remus began to smirk, clearly recalling an argument they'd had many years ago about the idea of Sirius cutting his hair.

"You'll never get all that matted, dread-locked looking mess out otherwise" he prodded when Sirius hesitated.

"Fine" Sirius sighed dramatically, holding still while Remus transfigured a nearby stick into a pair of shears and walked over to him, nodding at him to sit on a rock outside the cave entrance so he could cut it more easily.

"Hold this, would you? I can't hold it and cut at the same time" Remus said, handing Sirius his still lit wand, making him hold it up so he could see what he was doing.

For just a moment, Sirius was struck by the amount of trust in his words and gesture and he knew suddenly that in spite of twelve years of doubt, Remus clearly had utter faith in the fact that he was telling the truth. Especially if he was willingly handing over his wand whilst in the forest alone with a man accused of mass-murder. Sirius would bet not a soul knew where Remus was either.

"Don't you dare make me bald Remus" Sirius warned him, smiling just a little at how good it felt to have his friend's trust back.

"How have you been lugging this around?" Remus asked, chuckling "It feels like it weighs a ton."

Sirius felt him lifting the heavy mass of matted hair and could just imagine the look of disgust on his friend's face.

"Just cut it off, would you?" Sirius grumbled at him, very much aware that he probably looked utterly hideous.

"Don't get snippy with me" Remus warned him just the way he'd always done in the past and Sirius marvelled at the familiarity of finally having his old friend back.

Sirius grumbled under his breath while he ate his sandwiches and listened to the snipping sound of the shears. Remus could also be heard muttering in annoyance about whatever disgusting things he was finding lodged in Sirius's hair as he hacked at it.

"How are we going to find Peter and hand him to Dumbledore?" Remus asked him some time later, still wrestling with Sirius's hair, taking his wand back several times in an effort to remove more of the dirt and grime and grease that was making it so difficult to cut.

"If he's not in the castle I've got no idea where he'd go," Sirius said, frowning irritably.

"Harry mentioned the other day that his friends were arguing because Hermione Granger's cat is suspected of eating Ron Weasley's rat." Remus told him.

"That bastard's faked his own death again, knowing I've been trying to get into the castle and kill him! The cat stole the list of passwords and tried to catch Peter to bring him to me but Pete's cleverer than we gave him credit for," Sirius growled.

"He'll be hiding somewhere in the castle or on the grounds…. I've got the map, maybe I'll be able to spot him on it." Remus told him.

"You got the map back?" Sirius demanded "What'd you do, nick into Filch's office and steal it?"

"Harry had it actually, and was being interrogated by Snape about it when they called on me. You should've read the way that thing insulted old Snivellus," Remus chuckled.

"That git's a teacher?" Sirius asked, sounding disgusted.

"Has been since the end of the war" Remus told him.

"What idiot would let him anywhere near students? He's so greasy and vile" Sirius told him.

"He's a decent teacher" Remus argued. "He was always such a know-it-all, so it's no surprise he's good at the job, even if all the students hate him."

"At least some of them up at that school have some sense," Sirius put in snidely.

"His grudge against you and James is carried over to Harry, I'm afraid. More often than not if Harry puts a toe out of line in Potions Snape gives him detention or starts in with those cutting remarks he was always so gifted with." Remus told him.

"When Harry's living with me, we'll just see how old Snivellus treats him then" Sirius growled, feeling a little thrill at the idea of having his godson live with him and feeling protective of him.

"First we have to clear your name" Remus reminded him.

Sirius rolled his eyes. Remus always had been the voice of reason.

"You got anything to drink?" Sirius croaked, his throat even drier now after eating so many sandwiches. He turned to Remus with a quirked eyebrow when the man handed over a flask of whiskey.

"I knew I smelled whiskey on you!" Sirius announced before taking a swig and shuddering at the burn of the alcohol in his dry throat. "Since when do you drink anyway? You always used to frown at us for drinking."

A sense of sadness washed over Sirius as he caught Remus's pained expression.

"You never did do well alone…." He murmured to his friend when Remus didn't answer. Sirius grinned widely "But don't worry. We'll clear my name, and you can come live with me and Harry. If he'll have us."

When a slow, genuine smile of happiness spread across Remus's face, Sirius felt like he could fly without a broom.


End file.
